Build a case around your recent accomplishments, then schedule a compensation conversation with your manager. Reference market rates — not the specific offer you declined — and make your value to the team concrete. Employers will often move on salary when they realize keeping you costs far less than finding and training your replacement.
Here's the thing: you turned down another job and stayed. That's leverage, and your employer knows it. They understand you're wanted elsewhere. A 2023 LinkedIn report found that employees who receive outside offers end up with 18-25% larger raises when they stay, compared to people who never tested the market. Why does this happen? Managers do the math. Replacing someone costs 50-200% of that person's salary once you factor in recruiting fees, onboarding time, and the productivity gap while the new hire gets up to speed. A senior developer earning $120K, for example, could cost $90K-$240K to replace — that's a number HR has almost certainly already run. So when you ask for a raise in this situation, you're not asking your company to find new money. You're asking them to spend money they were already willing to spend — just on keeping you instead of replacing you. That's a very different conversation. Timing matters though. Push for this discussion while the memory of your decision is still fresh. Wait six months and the moment loses its weight entirely.
This works best when your role has real friction costs attached to it. Software engineers, senior marketers, financial analysts, specialized operations leads — these positions take months to backfill properly. Entry-level roles where fifty candidates are in the pipeline? The leverage is thinner, and you need to know that going in. You'll also get better results if you've been in the role at least 18 months and taken on new responsibilities since your last raise. If you declined that offer last week, move now. Wait six months and your manager has mentally moved on. Your position gets even stronger if your company is actively hiring or struggling to fill similar roles — they're already thinking about attrition. But if layoffs just happened or budgets are frozen, you don't skip the conversation. You just pace it differently and lead harder with performance data than with market comparisons.
Most people mess this up by telling their manager about the declined offer directly. Bad move. It sounds like a threat instead of information. Your manager hears 'I'm only staying because you matched them,' not 'I picked this place and want fair pay.' That damages trust. Second mistake people make: asking for more money without showing new value since last time you got a raise. Just saying 'another company wanted me' doesn't cut it—you need real accomplishments. Did you ship something early? Cut costs? Train new people? And here's the thing nobody wants to admit: that outside offer might not reflect your actual market rate. Maybe they overpay. Maybe the job was different. Pull actual data from Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, or Payscale instead of relying on one company's number.
Keep it short: 'I looked at an interesting opportunity, but this role and team made more sense for where I want to go.' Then redirect immediately — 'What I actually want to talk about is making sure my compensation reflects what I'm contributing and what the market shows for this work.' You've confirmed you had options without turning it into a standoff.
Not if you frame it right. The risk only appears when your manager reads it as an ultimatum. 'Pay me or I'll find somewhere that will' poisons the conversation. But 'I chose to stay and I want compensation that reflects that so I can stay focused here' — most managers hear that as mature and direct. The difference is tone, not timing.
Email first, meeting second. Something like: 'I'd like to set up time to talk about my compensation and trajectory here. I recently [specific thing you accomplished], and I want to make sure my pay reflects both what I'm contributing and what the market looks like for this role.' That one email does real work — it gives your manager context before you sit down, so the conversation opens with shared information instead of surprise.